The bleakest of times
by TheUsagi1995
Summary: 1-shot. Post S13E01 "Lost and Found" Dean drives home, he is overwhelmed by grief for everything he has lost in so little time. Sam tries his best to comfort him, but how can he, when he is equally broken? The brothers are hurting as they have never before and Dean is not sure that having one another will be enough. And times, have never been bleaker. Light Wincest. Losts of H/C.


_**A/N! Happy new season to you all! I hope that you are all doing great!**_  
 _ **I loved the episode, but men, it was hard to watch...**_  
 _ **Here is a little something I felt like writing after watching 13x01.**_  
 _ **I hope you'll all enjoy!**_

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 _ **I don't own any of the Supernatural characters, no money is made by this.  
Enjoy! A/N!**_

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 _ **"The Bleakest of Times..."**_

It's weird, isn't it? How fast, how swiftly the tide rises and falls, how one moment, you feel whole and the next you feel wrecked, empty and broken... It's weird, how once you let people close to you, some mysterious force works cunningly, to take them away from you. But for Dean, that force was anything but mysterious, it was the one being who had always taken away everything and everyone the green eyed man had loved. It was Lucifer, the star of the morning, the Devil, who should be locked up in Hell, but wasn't.

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And now, he had taken everything away from Dean again. Just like before, when Sam had jumped in the Cage to save the world and Dean could only watch, as Sam kept falling and falling, deeper and deeper into the endless, fiery, abyss. He could only watch, as Sam was slipping away from him for good. Crumbling down and down, until he reached that cold, dark Cage. And then, he was gone, doomed to a fate worse than Death. And Dean, was left alone.

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That was eight years ago. But history tents to repeat itself, for those who are bound to fight the darkness of this world can never escape their fate, no matter how hard they try. And their fate is to either die, or, in Dean's case, to be left alone for yet another time. Alone. The word echoed loudly in Dean's mind and the older man grabbed the steering wheel of his Baby for dear life. The flames which had turned Cas' and Kelly's bodies to ash had died out, hours ago, but were still blinding Dean's emerald gaze to the point where he had to pull the car over, so that he wouldn't end up getting his brother—the only one Lucifer had left alive- killed as well.

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Dean swallowed hard and pressed a trembling hand on his scared and tired face. Everyone was dead. Rowena. Crowley. Kelly. Mary... And Cas... Cas, his best friend, his brother, the naive yet trustworthy ally, the one the boys could always count on... And Mary... Their mother, the one who Dean had always wished he could have, but knew, he never would have her. Because, when had Dean gotten anything he wanted? He had given everything he had in this never-ending battle, sacrificed so much; and when the time came for him to finally get something back, Lucifer just took it away. Took Mary away, dragging her down with him, just like he had done with Sam all those years ago.

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Dean was unaware he was crying, until he felt big, familiar hands around his wrist. He ever so slowly, let his hand fall from his face and allowed big, yet trembling palms to cup his wet cheeks. Dean dared to raise his gaze and was met with Sam's equally sad one. The younger hunter had nestled closer to his brother, his hazel eyes, filled with sadness and grief, fixed on watery green ones. "The kid, is he-" "Asleep, Jack has fallen asleep." Sam muttered, flicking his gaze on the back seat of the Impala, where the Nephilim was lying, before turning it back on Dean, who was trying to get a hold of himself.

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Sam tightened his hold on Dean's tear marked face, but said nothing else. He just looked at his brother, before letting his hands slide downwards, from Dean's wet cheeks to his hunched shoulders and then his broad chest. Then, Sam's long hands fell to his sides, but remained open, inviting Dean in. And the older man couldn't resist, for his body was feeling heavy, tired and cold. Strange thing, to feel his body heavy, considering Dean was sure he had never felt so empty before. So, led by sheer will power, Dean let his body fall into Sam's waiting arms.

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The warmth of his brother's body, the steady beat of his heart, the sound of his breathing, engulfed Dean, and he just surrendered to that embrace, letting his tears fall. "We'll find a way Dean. You and me. Just like we always do." Sam uttered in Dean's short hair, the warm puffs of Sam's exhales making Dean shiver violently. Or maybe it was the chill of the early morning which was creeping in from the windows. Or maybe, it was the fact that Dean was crying silently in the crook of Sam's neck. "It's not fair..." Dean whispered, aware that he was sounding like a teenager. He couldn't care less. His voice was hoarse, distant.

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"I know Dean..." Sam croaked out weakly, fighting against his own tears. "For once we were so close... We could have had a family, me, you, mom and Cas..." Dean rasped, hiding his face in Sam's chest. "Dean, mom may not be-" "You can't do this to yourself, Sam. Or to me. You can't have false hopes..." Dean muttered brokenly and Sam could only hold him closer, closer than it was humanly possible. "There's you and me. And that's something." Sam offered weakly, breathing in Dean's scent, flinching at the traces of smoke his nostrils picked up. What an irony... In one way or another, the smell of smoke would always be on Dean's clothes... Dean swallowed hard as realization hit him. Sam hadn't said that 'things would be alright'. And how could he say these words, when things seemed bleaker than ever before?

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"You and me..." Dean echoed his brother's words, after a while, more to convince himself rather than any other reason. And all of sudden an ache tore his heart in half and his face twitched, making Sam call out his name in worry. "Dean? Dean, talk to me, are you all right?" He rasped, taking a hold of Dean's blank face with his hands yet again. Dean blinked a couple of times, and then he fixed his gaze on Sam, because his brother was still there, by his side, equally hurt, yet always ready to comfort Dean, to be the rock he could lean on. Dean moved then, driven by fear and love, crushing his lips with Sam's, in a kiss so filled with pain and desperation, that one could drown in it.

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Their lips moved in sync for quite a while, before Dean pulled away, pounding for breath. "Sam... Sammy, you can't... If anything happens-" "It won't." Sam cut him off, pulling him closer again, but this time Dean resisted, running his hand through Sam's hair. They looked at one another for a long moment and Sam leaned into the touch, letting some of his pain drift out from him. Dean sighed bitterly, before pulling away from Sam, to resume his seat behind the wheel. He couldn't help but notice, that his brother was looking at his lap, his hazel eyes clouded.

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"We'll find a way Dean... You and me. It's you and me. And nothing else matters." Sam eventually muttered, not sure who he was trying to convince. Dean didn't answer, however, just turned the key in the ignition, kicking the engine to life. "Lay down, come on." Dean said in a low voice, pointing at his brother to rest his head on his shoulder and not the cold window. Sam hesitated for a moment, but his own sadness took the better of him, and his nestled as close to Dean as possible, his head on Dean's right shoulder.

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And so, Dean started driving again, with one hand on the wheel and one in Sam's hair. So close they were, yet Dean felt as though they were oceans apart... He pulled Sam even closer, hushing him when the younger hunter stirred. Sam soon drifted off to a restless, troubled sleep, despite the fact the he could feel Dean's fingers constantly running through his hair. Dean sighed again, but kept driving, knowing there was nothing else he could do at the time.

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From afar, the boys looked like two halves of a whole, like two pieces of a puzzle, which fitted perfectly together. They were so close, that one would think not even the wind could find its way in between them. But this time, close as they may struggle to be, they knew they were still incomplete. Fragments of them were missing and couldn't be retrieved. And as Dean stared at the dark, long road ahead of them, he was sure he would never be whole again...

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 _ **the end...**_

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 _ **A/N! So, here it ends...**_  
 _ **Was it good? Bad? Too bad? (Hope not...)**_  
 _ **Tell me what you think, if you want!**_  
 _ **Until next time,**_  
 _ **Love you all,**_  
 _ **Usagi! A/N!**_


End file.
